Everyone
enjoys driving other people crazy.
Recognize that no one makes us angry but ourselves.
Anger unwittingly turns us into losers.
It informs the audience that we can’t control
ourselves and our emotions (when, in fact, we can
control ourselves by practicing a little patience,
using relaxation techniques, pausing to count to
10, asking ourselves, “What is my goal in
this case?” etc.).
When we demonstrate anger, we lose the respect
of others and ourselves.
Anger is an extremely powerful reinforcer of undesirable
behavior.
Anger over problems, rather than the problems themselves,
becomes the real problem.
Problems are caused by “optical illusions,” that
is, we catastrophize them, blow them out of proportion
to reality or in comparison to ones far worse in
scope.
Controlling anger takes less effort and energy
(especially emotional energy) than getting angry.
“Freedom of Speech” is the ultimate
solution to human conflict, i.e. allowing the other
person to enjoy his/her right to express their thoughts
and feelings without judgment, criticism, or interruption.
Rules For Winning Without Anger
Refuse to give others the power to get you mad.
Treat everything others say as the words of your
best friend.
Do not be afraid of others.
Do not attack others.
Do not defend yourself from others. If someone
hurts you, just stay hurt, (ask directly for an
acknowledgement or apology), console yourself, but
do not react with anger.
Instead of “I’m so angry,” say
to yourself, “I’m irritated,” “I’m
annoyed,” or "I’m disappointed".
You will feel immediate relief. These statements
change the
perception of the event into a nuisance rather than
into the level of a battle to be fought.
Ruth Fowler, M.Ed., LPC, MCC
For more information, contact:
Ruth
G. Fowler, M.Ed., LPC
955
Dairy Ashford, Suite 108
Houston,
Texas 77079
Office:
281.759.5991
Cell:
713.502.1996
Fax:
281.531.4126
E-Mail: ruthfowler@positivedirections.net
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